Now Playing Tracks

  • Guy in my class:

    Sir, what if we had a gay P.E. teacher? That'd be bad because he'd be looking at all the guys in shorts.

  • Teacher:

    You're assuming that all gay teachers are pedophiles.

  • Guy:

    Well...yeah.

  • Teacher:

    Carl I absolutely promise you that NO ONE in this school wants to have sex with you

  • Government:

    We want to keep pregnancy rates in young girls down!

  • Government:

    *Has terrible sex education for young girls*

  • Government:

    *Charges lots of money for birth control*

  • Government:

    *Charges lots of money for pregnancy tests*

  • Government:

    *Charges lots of money for plan b pills*

  • Government:

    *Is against abortion*

becausebirds:

I met this albino Raven named Pearl today. It is only one of four known albino Ravens in the whole world.

Pearl lives in this woman’s house. The handler has a permit, and the bird is property of the government (like hawks and falcons). She is affiliated with the California Wildlife Center. Every time the handler stopped petting Pearl she started cawing. She really likes affection.

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